My Double-Sized Testimony

I have been absent from blogging for some time now because I just couldn't handle the demands of pregnancy, motherhood, married life and housework. I'm working my way back as I'm settling into the easier part of my pregnancy (if there is such a thing). I have committed to blogging once a week until the babies get here!


I have been anxiously waiting the opportunity to tell my testimony about this current pregnancy. I was seeking God for just the right moment and I feel God releasing me to brag on him. How many know that not everything is meant to be shared and you have to wait on God to give you that perfect moment to tell just how good he is.  


I'm moving into my 24 week of pregnancy now and although I feel so blessed to be able to have children of my own and I am anxiously waiting the arrival of my miracle babies! I just don't enjoy the 10 months of pregnancy.


This amazing testimony God has given me to share started way back in September 15th, exactly 30 days since my last cycle I just had that woman's intuition that I was pregnant again. At the time, my husband was out of town, so baby #1 and I ventured out to the store to get a pregnancy test. It was positive. I was super excited to be pregnant again because it was such a surprise, however, slightly disappointed in the timing because our daughter was still a baby. Being so early in the pregnancy I decided to wait a few weeks to call my doctor. In the meantime, I caught this horrible head cold, and being that was I completely consumed by morning sickness and not able to take any medications it took about three days of symptoms before I gave in and went to the ER for some help. It was there that I got a positive pregnancy diagnosis from a doctor (September 28th). I got an antibiotic and cough syrup (safe for baby) and was sent on my way.


September 29th, I woke up from a nap with some light spotting. Having had a previous miscarriage, I was pretty calm about it. However, I went to the ER to be examined to make sure everything was normal. At the ER they told me that it was too early in the pregnancy to see a heart beat, things seemed normal, stay on bed rest and call my doctor in the A.M. I called my doctor as directed and she saw me the next day (September 30). She told me progesterone levels were low, put me on full bed rest and hormones to bring up my levels and sent me home. I stayed on bed rest for a full day and woke up that following morning (October 1) with heavy bleeding and cramping. I knew at this point I was probably having a miscarriage. We went to the hospital and they did every test known to man, but with no end result. The ER doctor told me that he suspected I was having a miscarriage and then left the room. Then within minutes came back into the room and told me he wanted to retract his original diagnosis and said it was just too early in the pregnancy to say that it is a miscarriage and he couldn't be for certain.


Now, while all of these things are happening, we were experiencing some other significant moves of God. October 1 my husband lost a dear friend and mentor unexpectedly. We actually got the news while we were in the hospital waiting for the doctor to release me. We were watching TBN praise-a-thon when we pledged to sow a seed to TBN ministries. My husband and I prayed on this seed and believed God for no more loss and restoration of things that had been taken from us.


I followed up with my doctor the following Monday and she concluded that based on my hormone levels I had a spontaneous abortion or miscarriage. She asked what the plans were from here and I confidently told her we would be waiting another year before we would try again.





We start the ultra sound and no sooner than she got the monitor on I hear her GASP. That is not very settling to a woman who has already diagnosed herself with a tumor that was triggering a positive PG test. Of course I raised up and said WHAT! I hear in response, there are TWO. Two of what I asked and that's when she turned the monitor to me and I could plainly see two yolk sacks with two babies. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Doesn't God have such a great sense of humor!


Let's take a moment to reflect quickly. My husband and I lost a baby and a dear friend on the same day. We also took a step out on faith and sowed a significant seed for us at the time, believing God for restoration and no more loss. A month later, we have two babies on the way. Now had I been more conscious of God speaking to me I would have already known I was having twins. I'm in awe of all the signs God gave me about twins before I found out I was having twins. These babies haunted my dreams all during my pregnancy with Hannah. I would have dreams almost weekly that I was having twins and one of them was a boy and I wouldn't have any boy stuff for it because all I had was girl stuff. This dream was a reoccurring dream through out my entire pregnancy. I could go on and on about the signs God gave me but I won't, there's more testimony to share. Let there be a lesson learned here, always be tuned into what God is telling you. He's always talking, we just aren't always listening.


So 8 1/2 weeks pregnant I head home from the doctor, with proof in hand, that we have 2 babies on the way.  Two days before I enter into my 12th week of pregnancy I wake up spotting again. Honestly, I was alarmed this time with the last miscarriage being still so fresh in memory. I felt my flesh starting to become fearful, shaky, rapid heart beat. Daryl was still asleep and so was Hannah so I was just lying in bed letting my mind wonder, which is exactly what the devil wanted me to do. That idol mind can be so destructive add it to fear and anxiety and you might as well just have a big sign in red writing on the doorway to your circumstance that says, WELCOME DEVIL. I caught myself being reminded of some very powerful scriptures, I knew it was God.

Children are a blessing to their parents. By his stripes I am healed. I am whole in Jesus name. Ask, and believe that you have received it and it will be given to me. I have the power to speak to mountains and make them move. God was letting me know these babies were my blessing, and no one can take my blessings unless I allow it. God was teaching me to take authority of my circumstances. I called upon a very anointed sister in Christ, and asked her to be in agreement with me that I am whole in Jesus' name and so are these babies. We agreed, believed and let God do the rest. I was overcome with such a peace, I just laid my head back down and went back to sleep. I was not going to allow fear to open the door for the enemy to step in.

WARNING: this is somewhat graphic if you are sensitive to such details

If you remember, I had mention to my doctor before that I was dealing with a lot of pressure in my female areas and I felt like something was falling out. Well, although my doctor had said she didn't see anything falling out I still felt it every time I was up walking around and I started seeing tissue that was not in its rightful place. I kept this to myself and started doing some research. Knowledge is power. After some comparison of similar scenarios and pictures I had determined I probably have what could be a prolapsing bladder. But I was not going to own that diagnosis, I was trusting God to take care of it. So first I called the on-call Dr., explained what I was seeing and feeling. He told me it I could very well be right with my diagnosis, and there are times when lying down that the bladder will retreat, hints why my Dr. didn't see anything. Then he followed that with, OR, it could be your cervix. GREAT.... there goes my flesh again. No one wants their cervix falling out of them, especially when there are two babies that need that to stay in place for survival. He put me on bed rest until my appointment with my Dr. (which was 4 days away)

So I took it easy for those 4 days, no lifting, no exercise, movie watching in bed weekend. It was nice, I needed the rest. So my appointment arrives and I find out there are issues with my insurance and my OB wants me to pay 600 dollars up front for the visit before I can see her. Umm, that's a negative. I didn't even have a purse with me. So I went home, discussed the circumstances with my husband and pondered God's word. God doesn't change he's the same God that has always existed. People change. Our lack of faith is so unpleasing to God it's no wonder we don't see more miracles like they had in the bible. So I recalled the woman with the issue of blood, so faith filled if she could just touch his garment she would be healed. How inspiring. So I put the thought of insurance, doctors, and bed rest behind me and started thinking issue of blood. God was speaking to me AGAIN:

Children are a blessing to their parents. By his stripes I am healed. I am whole in Jesus name. Ask, and believe that you have received it and it will be given to me. I have the power to speak to mountains and make them move. These babies are my blessing, and no one can take my blessings unless I allow it.  Take authority of my circumstances.

And so I did, I anointed my body and prayed that God give me a miracle and heal my body. I prayed that I would not need medical intervention in any capacity for this issue. I didn't doubt. I believed God with my whole heart, either he's God or he's not but that was the only way this was getting fixed.

Nearly 2 months later, insurance was all worked out and I was able to see my doctor. Now I already knew I was healed, I hadn't had any pressure or seen anything out of place in months. I just wanted the medical confirmation that all was well. We did an ultra sound, we did a physical exam, and we did blood work. I was a picture perfect healthy preggo... as my husband would call it. Nothing falling out, everything in place. 100% healed in Jesus' name. I believed God.

So, now, 24 weeks pregnant, carrying twins that are measuring above average weights I'm healthy. I'm waddling a little more than usual but no complications and everything is holding up just fine. (no pun intended)

So for those doubters out there who don't believe God isn't still in the healing business, I'm walking proof that he is. The lesson to take away from this is, YOU can not please God without faith.

Faith: the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen

It doesn't matter what it looks like, what the circumstances suggest, or what medicine says. God is always in control, you just have to let go of your fears, worries and doubt, and let God take over. Don't entertain doubt within your own mind or from others. People are so quick to think the negative and when you have real faith in God, you don't have time to even hear it. I know that's why God had a perfect, planned time for me to release this testimony because, too soon and I could have been swayed by doubters. Be aware of doubt in all forms, because the devil comes to deceive us. I don't like what if statements and I choose not to entertain them. So when you encounter a "what if" believer, remind them that God is in control of your life and there aren't any "what ifs" because God has everything under control.

Until next time!
God Bless

Where's Your Hidden Blessing?

I was watching Dancing with the Stars tonight with my husband and daughter. This was the first time I had tuned in this season, but I was blessed by a certain dancer on the show and his testimony. Jr Martinez has such an amazing testimony and I encourage you all to read about this young man. There is that cliche saying we hear all too often, that God works in mysterious ways. In this case, I truly believe that JR Martinez received a blessing in disguise.

Martinez is such an inspiration to me. As I was learning about his life, I found that he faced some struggles in his life but kept getting up and pushing forward. He moved to Georgia his senior year of high school. JR was a member of the Dalton High School, 2001 State Champion football team. He had dreamed of playing in the NFL but his athletic career was ended prematurely by a sports injury his senior year. He could have stopped here, I have known of many that have. They hit opposition, give up and waste their talents, but not JR.

Martinez pressed forward and enter lent the United States Army his athletic talents and was sent to Iraq. While in Iraq, his Humvee hit a land mine, that ejected three of his fellow soldiers and trapped JR in the vehicle where he suffered burns over 40% of his entire body. This was another wall that could have stopped JR. How many soldiers do we see today, that suffer injury, loss of limbs, burns etc. and give up. Lose their will to live, become depressed and are never the same. Not JR, a nurse taking care of JR solicited him to speak to a fellow burn unit soldier, who had seen his body for the first time since his accident and was far from optimistic. Jr himself suffered 34 months in hospitals around the world, and endured 33 surgeries to repair his body.

All in all this man has faced multiple "landmines" in his lifetime and walked away from them all, each one with more success and the drive to achieve more. This accident took an average man and turned him into a highly sought after motivational speaker, Emmy award winning actor, and now celebrity dancing star.

This is a lesson all of us should take to heart. We have daily struggles that make us want to take a time out, give up, walk away. I recall when we brought my daughter home from the hospital for the first time there was a night where I cried all night. I was frustrated because we were struggling with breast feeding, baby threw up all over me, her and the bed and I had to change us all at 3 a.m. Shortly after we were changed, dry and back in bed my daughter's diaper leaked and we were on round two of changes. Just after I got her back in bed, she decided to give me a dirty diaper present that not only filled her diaper but was all over her clothes. So now 4:30 a.m. rolled around, we're taking our second bath our third change of clothes and I had such a negative outlook on it. But when I look at this young man and his triumphs and then remember back to some of my overwhelming moments I'm so convicted. Praise God to be lucky enough to be alive to take care of 4:30 a.m. dirty diapers. Not only does JR Martinez take every roadblock with endurance, strength, and optimism but look at how God has blessed his life despite of the negative things he has experienced. JR. Martinez is such an inspiration for anyone experiencing struggle in life, but let the glory be to God for the blessings and success that has come to JR in the midst of his opposition.

Scriptures to encourage yourself with when opposition is knocking at your door.

My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. Psalms 62:1-2

The LORD is my light and my salvation-- whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life-- of whom shall I be afraid? -Psalms 27:1

I encourage you all to search your life and share with us where you have had a hidden blessing from God.

Be merciful to me, O God, for men hotly pursue me; all day long they press their attack.  My slanderers pursue me all day long; many are attacking me in their pride.  When I am afraid, I will trust in you.  In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?  All day long they twist my words; they are always plotting to harm me.  They conspire, they lurk, they watch my steps, eager to take my life.  On no account let them escape; in your anger, O God, bring down the nations.  Record my lament; list my tears on your scroll-- are they not in your record?  Then my enemies will turn back when I call for help. By this I will know that God is for me. \ In God, whose word I praise, in the LORD, whose word I praise-- in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?  I am under vows to you, O God; I will present my thank offerings to you.  For you have delivered me from death and my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before God in the light of life.-Psalms 56

When Marriage Can't Meet All Your Needs.... Then What?

When circumstances in your relationship are shaky, TRUST GOD.

Colossians 2:9-10 tells us, For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, ¹⁰ and in Christ you have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority.

What an awesome scripture to refer to when things seem less than perfect. Marriages today are facing so many pressure points but how comforting is it to know that the one and only God, our heavenly Father, is head of over EVERY power and authority. Think about what this scripture is saying, God is head of that bank that you need the loan from, he is head of that boss that just seems to have it out for you, he is head of your enemies, he is head of everything in your life, including your marriage and your husband. Find all that you need in Him.


The story of the Samarian woman at the well illustrates this truth very well. A woman who had sought out multiple men yet still was not content with her life. She desperately thirsted after the living water that Jesus spoke about and she received it. All she ever needed in life she received that day from Christ and was complete. (John 4:7-42)


As wives sometimes we look to our husbands to provide for us, take care of us, minister to our needs and sometimes God allows them to. However, God wants you to know that He is your provider.


When your husband disappoints you, when marriage hits a tough spot refer to:

Phillippians 2:3-4, Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, ⁴ not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

Phillippians 4:4-7, Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵ Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. ⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

God, is teaching us how to handle situations when things aren't going right. So create your plan of attack and prepare for a spiritual fight when the struggles hit your marriage.

• Put your husband before yourself, see his point of view

• Give God praise even during the tough stuff, because you already know, He is all you need to beat this test

• Be gentle, say and do all things in love

• Present your requests to God in prayer and petition him to enter into your situation

• Thank God for your victory, because you know you already have it, scripture says ask, believe and receive that he has answered your prayers

• Be at peace knowing God will guard your heart and your mind, and all is well.

Keep in mind that husbands and wives have a unique opportunity to minister to each other in a way that we can not minister to people outside of our marriage. It is important to examine yourself and your responses to your spouse. Your testimony is just as important in your marriage as it is to a stranger. So be careful how you speak to and treat one another in all times, but importantly during the struggles. The greatest testimony God can give you is to allow your spouse to see Him, actively working and living in you.

It just didn’t turn out to be the fairy tale I had so badly hoped for.

I'm sure most of us have heard something about the recent reality star divorce that has been all over media sources in the past few days. I couldn't help but notice this very sad, destructive statement that was made in her blog.

"It just didn’t turn out to be the fairy tale I had so badly hoped for."

Since when did anyone ever say marriage is a fairy tale? Lets take some time to look into some of these iconic fairy tale princesses and examine where the misconception takes place.

Cinderella. She lost her mother and then her father. 2 losses that no child should have to experience at such a young age. She then endured emotional and verbal abuse from her step mother and step sisters. She endured adversity in many different arenas. She lost the freedom to feel safe, welcome and a sense of ownership in her home. Her friends consisted of animals and rodents. Everything she had of value was stripped away by her step mother and sisters. She met a Prince who fell in love with her & they were married.

Snow White. Was born the her mother, a queen who died shortly after she was born. Her father remarried a vain woman who didn't like that Snow White was fairer than she was. She is sent by her step mother into the woods to be killed by a hunter. The hunter shows mercy to her and sends her away to live in the woods in a small cottage with 7 little guys that worked all day. She earns her stay in the cottage by keeping house for the dwarfs, cooking, making beds, laundry, sewing, and knitting, and keeping everything clean and orderly. She endures 3 more attempts of murder from her step mother before meeting her prince.

Belle (Beauty and the Beast) Bell also lost her mother and lives solely with her father. Is courted by a miserably mean and disrespectful man. She lives very humbly with her father who is struggling to provide. In order to spare her father, she must give up everything she owns to live with the Beast. During her stay with the beast it takes her a good while to warm up to him and become his friend, and then fall in love. She nearly has Beast stolen away from her by her horrible ex before she achieves her happily ever after.

I think we can all see a pattern here, I could continue if I wanted but for the sake of space I'll just get to the point. These fairy tales we are raised to fantasize about as young girls are deceiving. No one acknowledges all the struggles and loss that the princesses had to endure to achieve their fairy tales. They put in time, trials, hard work, sweat and tears before they got to the good stuff. This is the same in marriage. It it always a work in progress. As a wife, living according to the word of God, you experience loss in a marriage too. You have to put aside yourself, put God first and then your husband. We're suppose to be selfless and submit to our husbands as the leaders of our households. We have to work, clean, serve (sometimes when we don't want to). We have fights and trials but it's all these things that create in us the character to be a perfect partner for our spouse. Jesus endured struggles, resistance, and death before he got his fairy tale too. Much pain = much reward. The idea that marriage is instant gratification is completely unrealistic. Women who reach their happily ever after put it time and were dedicated to fighting for their relationship.


So to the newly weds, stay encouraged and endure until the end. The reward is worth the fight.
To the moderately experience Princess in the making. Thank you for sticking in there so far. Be encouraged and keep your eye on the prize.
To all those Princesses out there who have achieved their Happily Ever After. I look forward to the day when I am where you are. I admire your willingness to be devoted to Christ and the covenant that you and your husband created with him. Please share with us your fairy tale.

Thankful Fridays!

This picture represents some of many things I give thanks to God for today.

My Husband. A man of God, leading our family according to God's perfect will for us. Our union, together operating as one we can accomplish all things. The word of God tells us in Matthew 18:19-20,  "Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."

My Daughter. The best gift I could ever receive. Everyday she teaches me something new about myself. I never understood the capacity of a mother's love until she arrived and was placed in my arms. My life now has new meaning. I praise God for a healthy, happy, beautifully thriving child. "Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him." Psalms 127:3

Mother's Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father,
I ask you God to create in me a clean heart, Lord. I ask that you make me into the mother you have designed me to be. God, I pray that you give me patience to teach my daughter the difference in right in wrong. Wisdom to know how to correct her and the knowledge of when the most appropriate time to do so. Lord I ask that you allow me time to give to you, for my edification so that I can continue to grow in your word. Lord I ask that you help me teach my daughter the value of your word, and deliver it in a way that she will understand best. I plead the blood of Jesus over my daughter. I pray that she will grow to serve you with her whole heart.


I pray for mothers everywhere, that they seek you first in all things concerning their children. I pray that in all they do, they do it in love. I pray that as mothers we are training our children to seek you, serve you and trust you with all their hearts. I pray you give all mothers support and strength to get through the tough times and patience throught the trying times. Wisdom to impart into their children.


Lord, I ask all these things, in Jesus' name.


Amen.

God's Love & Loving Your Husband



God speaks through the Apostle Paul's letters to the church at Corinth that love is the greatest of all his commandments. He illustrates the importance of LOVE in 1 Corinthians chapter 13.  God is LOVE. Love, the true Agape love is not an easy task to do. God tells us in 1 John 4: 7-8

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

Food for thought: Do you KNOW God? If you have a personal, intimate relationship with God, then you will naturally love. To know GOD is to interact with him daily. God is our father. His love for us is greater than our earthly father's Love. When we share love with our earthly fathers, we interact with them, talk with them spend time with them. That's the same way we should interact with God. He wants your time. Love on him, talk to him tell him your struggles, wants, needs, etc. Consistency is important, God doesn't want few and far between conversations with you. He wants your heart. A heart to serve God, read his word, and desire to talk with him.

So, how do we love? If we have a personal relationship with God, his love in complete in our lives because he lives in us. Having a loving relationship with God will allow you to have a loving relationship with your Husbands. 

God teaches us how to love in 1 Corinthians 13. So when you love your husbands, be kind to him in all things. Whatever you do or say, do or say it with love. Be patient with your husband. Most marriages experience struggles at some point or another, just remember to be patient in the struggle and know your husband is not the enemy, the DEVIL is. In dealing with your husband, do not be boastful. Always keep a humble attitude with your husband, you both have strengths and weaknesses, love each other for them. Honor your husband. What is honor? 

Honor: to hold in high respect, revere; honesty, fairness, integrity in ones actions or beliefs.

 Love is not self-seeking, so wives put your husband's needs before your own. Love is not easily angered, that doesn't mean you won't ever be angry but God watches how your handle your anger. God commands us not to allow our anger to cause us to sin. So handle your husband with Love, even when you are angry, and it will keep you from falling short. Don't hold grudges. When your husband disappoints you, forgive him. What does the word forgive mean?

Forgiveness: to grant pardon for or remission of an offense or debt; to cease to feel resentment against

God commands us to forgive others or he will not forgive us. Forgiveness is much more than just accepting an apology. You have to let go of all the anger, resentment, frustration, etc. that might accompany your hurt. The inability to forgive is a tool of deception of the enemy, and surely if you fall into his trap you will not achieve your victory.

In all your ways seeks the righteousness of God, for love does not entertain evil. Love is always honest. Honesty stems much further than not telling a lie. Honesty means telling the whole truth. Be honest and up front with your husband. A good rule of thumb is to tell all the details and be as honest and open with you husband as you want him to be with you.  LOVE always protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres. You and your husband are a team, support each other, let your husband know - You have his back. Keep negativity out of your relationship, think positively. If people in your life, whether it be family or friends speak negatively about your spouse or marriage, the bible tells you to not entertain their company. If your loved ones can't act in love (with protection and positive hopes) toward you, your spouse or marriage then don't bask in their influences. The most important part to this message to take away is that LOVE always PERSEVERES. Why is this important? Love God, Love your husband, love yourself and your marriage will always prevail. There will be struggles but God's word does not fail.

John 14:15 If you love me, you will obey my commandments. - Love God and love will radiate from you. Obey God and you will Love!